Setting Boundaries to Grow: Preventing Burnout and Communicating with Empathy With Darcel Lobo - Speak in Flow

In today’s episode, we dive into the critical topic of setting boundaries to foster personal and professional growth while preventing burnout. Join us as we explore strategies for communicating boundaries effectively while maintaining empathy and compassion. Our guest, Darcel Lobo, a coach and consultant for lawyers, brings a unique perspective on navigating the demanding world of legal practice while prioritizing well-being and fulfillment.

**Key Points Covered:**

1. *Importance of Setting Boundaries to Grow:* We discuss the significance of establishing clear boundaries to create space for personal and professional growth. Darcel Lobo shares insights into how setting boundaries allows individuals to cultivate balance, resilience, and success in their endeavors.

2. *Preventing Burnout While Growing Professionally and Personally:* Darcel Lobo provides practical tips and strategies for preventing burnout while striving for growth in both professional and personal domains. From time management techniques to self-care practices, learn how to navigate the demands of a busy life while preserving energy and enthusiasm.

3. *Communicating Boundaries with Empathy:* We explore the art of communicating boundaries with empathy and understanding. Darcel Lobo shares techniques for asserting boundaries assertively yet compassionately, fostering positive relationships and mutual respect in both personal and professional contexts.

**Guest Profile:**

Darcel Lobo is a seasoned coach and consultant specializing in empowering lawyers to run successful law firms while maintaining a balanced lifestyle. With firsthand experience as a law firm owner and a mother of two young children, Darcel understands the challenges lawyers face in prioritizing their well-being amidst demanding careers. Through her coaching and consulting practice, Darcel brings a human-centered approach to the legal profession, helping lawyers achieve success while honoring their personal values and priorities.

**Connect with Darcel Lobo:**

– Website: [Darcel Lobo Coaching & Consulting](https://www.darcellobo.com/)

– LinkedIn: [Darcel Lobo](https://www.linkedin.com/in/darcelflobo/)

Tune in to this insightful conversation as we explore the transformative power of setting boundaries to grow personally and professionally. Discover practical strategies for preventing burnout, communicating boundaries with empathy, and reclaiming agency over your time and energy. Join us on Speak in Flow, where we unlock the secrets to thriving in today’s fast-paced world.

About Melinda:

Melinda Lee is a Presentation Skills Expert, Speaking Coach and nationally renowned Motivational Speaker. She holds an M.A. in Organizational Psychology, is an Insights Practitioner, and is a Certified Professional in Talent Development as well as Certified in Conflict Resolution. For over a decade, Melinda has researched and studied the state of “flow” and used it as a proven technique to help corporate leaders and business owners amplify their voices, access flow, and present their mission in a more powerful way to achieve results.

She has been the TEDx Berkeley Speaker Coach and worked with hundreds of executives and teams from Facebook, Google, Microsoft, Caltrans, Bay Area Rapid Transit System, and more. Currently, she lives in San Francisco, California, and is breaking the ancestral lineage of silence.

Website: https://speakinflow.com/

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/speakinflow

Instagram: https://instagram.com/speakinflow

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mpowerall

Thanks for listening!

Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page.

Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below!

Subscribe to the podcast

If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app.

Leave us an Apple Podcasts review

Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.

Transcript
Melinda Lee:

Hello, everyone, welcome to the speak in flow

Melinda Lee:

podcast, I'm so pleased to introduce to you today Darcel

Melinda Lee:

Lobo, she is the founder of doll law, a law firm in Seattle,

Melinda Lee:

Washington area. She's an attorney for families helping

Melinda Lee:

them to plan for their financial future, everything from stopping

Melinda Lee:

bankruptcy to foreclosure. She also is a coach for lawyers who

Melinda Lee:

are starting their law practice, and finding that it seems almost

Melinda Lee:

exhausting, overwhelming to do both law and also raising a

Melinda Lee:

family. And so I brought her here today, because I know she

Melinda Lee:

has such incredible wisdom and insight to share with us

Melinda Lee:

regarding how we should consent boundaries when it comes to both

Melinda Lee:

our work and families and how we communicate that. And so

Melinda Lee:

welcome, Darcel Glad you're here.

Darcel Lobo:

Thank you for having me. Yes. It's pleasure to

Darcel Lobo:

be here.

Melinda Lee:

Thank you so much. Well, let's just jump right in.

Melinda Lee:

Let's tell the audience, I'm so fascinated by your story. And I

Melinda Lee:

think it's inspiring. So can you share about your journey?

Darcel Lobo:

Yeah, I'll give a very short overview. So I've

Darcel Lobo:

been an attorney for 15 years. Back in 2016, I opened my own

Darcel Lobo:

law firm after, you know, considering it for quite a few

Darcel Lobo:

years, not sure how to navigate that I had two small children

Darcel Lobo:

just trying to figure out what was next for me and my career, I

Darcel Lobo:

was in a place I was just very unhappy with. So when I'm on my

Darcel Lobo:

own in 2016, have never looked back. So glad that I did. But

Darcel Lobo:

after doing so I spent quite a bit of time mentoring and

Darcel Lobo:

consulting other lawyers who were maybe in similar situation

Darcel Lobo:

to wanted to open their own law firm or improve their law firms,

Darcel Lobo:

but really struggling with the juggling act of their personal

Darcel Lobo:

lives and their professional lives and dealing with burnout.

Darcel Lobo:

And, you know, just a lot that comes with the running of a

Darcel Lobo:

business and being a lawyer. And so I really help lawyers kind of

Darcel Lobo:

bring that all together to have a happier life and a happier law

Darcel Lobo:

firm

Melinda Lee:

Yeah, I mean, they don't teach that in law school,

Melinda Lee:

right? No. Seven, and many in our audience here is you and

Melinda Lee:

the, their corporate. And so even if whether it's a law firm,

Melinda Lee:

or whether you're running your own business, and some other

Melinda Lee:

type of industry or area, it's like how do we balance polls,

Melinda Lee:

right, we spent so much time in our work, but then we also have

Melinda Lee:

this huge other part personal area, that also we want to be a

Melinda Lee:

part of, and when we present to so thank you so much for Yeah,

Melinda Lee:

like bringing that together for us, like Yeah, reading both of

Melinda Lee:

it. And so when, what have you found like, what are some of the

Melinda Lee:

challenges that you see? Why is it so difficult for us to

Melinda Lee:

separate the two or bring it together? I want to say,

Darcel Lobo:

well, you know, I think a lot of it is that we

Darcel Lobo:

have we're wearing a lot of hats, no matter whether you're a

Darcel Lobo:

lawyer or corporate or you know, whatever kind of professional

Darcel Lobo:

you are, we were somebody hats, and we're trying to do

Darcel Lobo:

everything all the time, and please everyone at the same time

Darcel Lobo:

and, and we just we can't and I think being okay with that, and

Darcel Lobo:

knowing that you can't be everything to everyone all the

Darcel Lobo:

time, there has to be some some give and take there, there have

Darcel Lobo:

to be boundaries, with yourself, with your clients with your

Darcel Lobo:

family. And I have no my children are a little bit older.

Darcel Lobo:

Now. They're 11 and 13, but with them with my spouse. And so

Darcel Lobo:

learning how to identify those boundaries, assert those

Darcel Lobo:

boundaries. And I think the biggest key when talking about

Darcel Lobo:

boundaries is respecting your own boundaries, the boundaries

Darcel Lobo:

are for you to where you say like, Okay, if this such and

Darcel Lobo:

such happens, this is going to be my response, this is what I

Darcel Lobo:

am or am not going to do. And respecting that for yourself is

Darcel Lobo:

really the biggest lesson learned and setting boundaries

Darcel Lobo:

and respecting them. I feel like and

Melinda Lee:

how did you help yourself? Or how do you help

Melinda Lee:

your clients identify those boundaries?

Darcel Lobo:

Well, I learned the hard way. And so you know. And

Darcel Lobo:

so I find myself here, you know, talking to my clients that I'm

Darcel Lobo:

coaching with on on how to identify those we really looked

Darcel Lobo:

at, what are their priorities, what's important for them. And

Darcel Lobo:

for a lot of my clients, you know, themselves. They put

Darcel Lobo:

themselves on the backburner so many times, and I genuinely

Darcel Lobo:

believe that, you know, how can we be that you know, the best

Darcel Lobo:

spouse, we can be the best mother, we can be the best, you

Darcel Lobo:

know, lawyer or whatever your profession is, if we're not

Darcel Lobo:

taking care of ourselves first. So I really sit with my clients

Darcel Lobo:

and kind of look through what you know, what's important with

Darcel Lobo:

them? What's their priority? And then where do we need to set

Darcel Lobo:

those boundaries? Where are we finding that, you know, there's

Darcel Lobo:

a lot of time being wasted, we're not productive, we're not

Darcel Lobo:

efficient. And so identifying those problem areas and coming

Darcel Lobo:

up with boundaries For the client that works best for them,

Darcel Lobo:

and that they're going to honour and respect also, I can't come

Darcel Lobo:

up with boundaries for them. Because it was a boundary for

Darcel Lobo:

me, right? It's not going to be the best boundary for someone

Darcel Lobo:

else. So I work with them to figure out what's best for them,

Darcel Lobo:

and then to really help them be accountable to themselves.

Melinda Lee:

Right right. I so agree with that. I'm gonna pause

Melinda Lee:

it right here because my battery's about to run. Oh, no.

Melinda Lee:

editing capabilities. This is the type of warning that I had.

Melinda Lee:

But my, my nose is getting clearer. Oh, wow, that's so

Melinda Lee:

interesting. Okay, good. Okay. Okay, we're talking about the

Melinda Lee:

boundaries and how they need to set up for myself. Okay, so

Melinda Lee:

yeah, I do have a question. You mentioned that you you found it

Melinda Lee:

out the hard way. What, what? What happened? What was a

Melinda Lee:

symptom that told you that we can all potentially avoid? I

Melinda Lee:

didn't want to wait till this moment. Right.

Darcel Lobo:

Right. I think for me, it was kind of a gradual

Darcel Lobo:

progression of things. But I think, you know, the burnout,

Darcel Lobo:

feeling like I was always kind of on edge with, you know, my

Darcel Lobo:

family, with clients, and always kind of, like, you know, being

Darcel Lobo:

snappy with people, which, you know, like, really wasn't

Darcel Lobo:

unjustifiable, but like, in my own head, I was just, I was

Darcel Lobo:

always on edge, I always had, you know, just a lot riding on

Darcel Lobo:

me, um, you know, I know, for me just being really unhappy, which

Darcel Lobo:

isn't my normal self. And so, you know, a lot of unhappiness,

Darcel Lobo:

a lot of burnout, a lot of frustration. And also, just, in

Darcel Lobo:

my personal journey, there was a couple years there where I put

Darcel Lobo:

on about 50 pounds, from like, 20, you know, 2019 to 2021, put

Darcel Lobo:

on about 50 pounds, and I really believe that I was just kind of

Darcel Lobo:

eating the feelings, eating the emotions, to be able to numb

Darcel Lobo:

them and avoid them. For some clients, and might be, you know,

Darcel Lobo:

a lot of shopping a lot of online distractions, whether

Darcel Lobo:

it's an increase alcohol consumption. So there's

Darcel Lobo:

different ways that we, you know, deal with those, you know,

Darcel Lobo:

feelings and emotions and the burnout. And so identifying what

Darcel Lobo:

those are for you, but the triggers are you on and, and

Darcel Lobo:

taking action to kind of reel it back in. And so I spent the past

Darcel Lobo:

two years looking at about 60 pounds of not just weight, but

Darcel Lobo:

like mental weight. Yeah, yeah,

Melinda Lee:

that makes so so much sense. Like, we're not

Melinda Lee:

giving ourselves what we really want or need, right? We're

Melinda Lee:

medicating we're finding ways to medicate.

Darcel Lobo:

Yes, yes. And so it's, you know, trying to numb

Darcel Lobo:

those feelings with other things versus just addressing the

Darcel Lobo:

underlying issues. So that's hard. It's hard to address the

Darcel Lobo:

underlying issues and take a look inwards and kind of

Darcel Lobo:

identify where things aren't going very well for yourself.

Darcel Lobo:

That's a hard conversation to have.

Melinda Lee:

Right. Right. And so, you know, is looking for

Melinda Lee:

someone like you or somebody to support you with that through

Melinda Lee:

that journey? Yeah,

Darcel Lobo:

yeah. Oh, go ahead. No, I was just gonna say, you

Darcel Lobo:

know, and I think having someone you know, in your corner is

Darcel Lobo:

actually, you know, for me in my profession, like, I bring a

Darcel Lobo:

firsthand experience or an empathy for a lot of my clients

Darcel Lobo:

as a lawyer, or a law firm owner and a mother myself, like, so to

Darcel Lobo:

help my clients kind of reel things back in before it gets

Darcel Lobo:

that far right. Before we get so far off track, or derail, to

Darcel Lobo:

kind of help them stay on track in the first place. It's really,

Darcel Lobo:

you know, what I hope to do with my practice.

Melinda Lee:

So how do you communicate that? I mean, you

Melinda Lee:

have so many you're still wearing all these different

Melinda Lee:

hats? Yeah. And what are your suggestions for communicating?

Melinda Lee:

Once you've had these boundaries identified? What are your

Melinda Lee:

priorities? What are some suggestions that you have to

Melinda Lee:

communicate that to one person a person B, they both want you at

Melinda Lee:

the same time? Like, what are the best ways that you

Melinda Lee:

communicate? Or approaches?

Darcel Lobo:

So it depends on for me, the underlying issue

Darcel Lobo:

that we're dealing with, like for example, I would say like,

Darcel Lobo:

you know, for time management, I'm a true believer in blocking

Darcel Lobo:

out your calendar, and to you know, focus on you know,

Darcel Lobo:

individual tasks that are taught. So, like in my law

Darcel Lobo:

practice, I only see clients about two days a week, you know,

Darcel Lobo:

you know, I'm very firm on my schedule. I don't see clients on

Darcel Lobo:

Fridays, I don't see clients on you know, Wednesdays law firm

Darcel Lobo:

clients are really Tuesdays and Thursdays and that is pretty set

Darcel Lobo:

in stone with my team. Um, you know, there's some things I

Darcel Lobo:

can't control like a court hearing, right, but to descend

Darcel Lobo:

that I can control things I'm very protective of my time and

Darcel Lobo:

when I do things, and so you know, for For me and my team,

Darcel Lobo:

it's you know, knowing, you know, when I'll see clients,

Darcel Lobo:

when am I doing legal work? When am I doing, you know, the HR

Darcel Lobo:

side of things, when am I running the business side of

Darcel Lobo:

things. And so, you know, there's different time blocks in

Darcel Lobo:

my calendar that I'm very protective of, but I have to be,

Darcel Lobo:

in order to have my practice in my personal life, to be able to

Darcel Lobo:

juggle those, I can't just take client calls at any time, and

Darcel Lobo:

they they have to be scheduled beforehand. And so it's even

Darcel Lobo:

just small things like that, as far as not taking unscheduled

Darcel Lobo:

phone calls, to help protect your time. So I think it depends

Darcel Lobo:

on what the issue is that we're talking about, and identifying

Darcel Lobo:

how to protect that. And then you do have to be able to

Darcel Lobo:

vocalise that to those around you that, you know, you know,

Darcel Lobo:

whatever that boundary is, whether it's your, your picking

Darcel Lobo:

your time, whether it's, you know, work or personal life,

Darcel Lobo:

identifying those boundaries, and then being very clear, and

Darcel Lobo:

then being comfortable saying them and honouring them. That

Darcel Lobo:

was a really long answer. I'm sorry.

Melinda Lee:

No, I think it was really clear i Yeah, no, it's

Melinda Lee:

true. The block time is so critical, because that can and

Melinda Lee:

you said I like the more protective because it's just,

Melinda Lee:

you're protecting that time. And it's not because you're

Melinda Lee:

protecting it is it but it all integrates, because you're

Melinda Lee:

protecting this time at work, so that you can also protect the

Melinda Lee:

time that you have with your family. Exactly,

Darcel Lobo:

exactly. Right on. And so yeah, when I have, you

Darcel Lobo:

know, a two hour time block to get legal work done, I'm not

Darcel Lobo:

answering phone calls, I'm not checking emails, I'm not on

Darcel Lobo:

social, like I'm not doing these other distractions, because I

Darcel Lobo:

can get a lot done. If I have a two hour block to get my legal

Darcel Lobo:

work done, I can get a lot done if I just focus on that task at

Darcel Lobo:

hand and not have all the distractions. And so it allows

Darcel Lobo:

me to, you know, leave the office at noon on a Friday,

Darcel Lobo:

right? And it allows me to go to my daughter's Girl Scouts, my

Darcel Lobo:

son's basketball games and to do these things, because I'm very

Darcel Lobo:

disciplined about how I manage my time. Yeah.

Melinda Lee:

Do you coach people on how to commute? What did they

Melinda Lee:

have a difficult time on? On breaking the news to somebody?

Darcel Lobo:

Yeah, I think that requires us to kind of delve

Darcel Lobo:

deeper on as to why it's so hard. Right? In hell for that

Darcel Lobo:

individual person. What what is it about that conversation that

Darcel Lobo:

that is so hard? Is it about a particular person that you can't

Darcel Lobo:

communicate, you know, well with? Is it the people pleasing

Darcel Lobo:

aspect, is it you know, so what is the underlying issue behind

Darcel Lobo:

the why is it so hard? And just because we have boundaries? And

Darcel Lobo:

we say, No, it doesn't mean that we're being rude. It doesn't

Darcel Lobo:

mean that we're, you know, being, you know, mean, or

Darcel Lobo:

anything and how we communicate, it's just, you know, I can't do

Darcel Lobo:

this right now. But here's what I can do it, I'd be happy to

Darcel Lobo:

help you, you know, or whatever the conversation needs to be,

Darcel Lobo:

but doesn't have to be a negative conversation. I think

Darcel Lobo:

for a lot of times, my clients, there's a negative connotation

Darcel Lobo:

to having boundaries and saying no, but I think you know,

Darcel Lobo:

protecting, you know, your time for yourself, like you can in

Darcel Lobo:

turn get all the things that you need to get done. I don't see

Darcel Lobo:

that as a negative at all.

Melinda Lee:

Right. Right. Especially if we know the why

Melinda Lee:

why. Right behind it. Right. Yeah, like justifying a lot. No,

Melinda Lee:

because I have to do this. Yeah. Media justifying giving so many

Melinda Lee:

explanations. Right.

Darcel Lobo:

Right. And, you know, you hear that, you know,

Darcel Lobo:

no, is a complete sentence. Right.

Melinda Lee:

Exactly. I've had to learn that I'm still learning

Melinda Lee:

that I'm still practising that. Right.

Darcel Lobo:

Right. Right. Right. So yeah, I mean, it's

Darcel Lobo:

definitely something that, you know, everybody, you know,

Darcel Lobo:

needs, you know, help with and kind of navigating and getting

Darcel Lobo:

comfortable. Especially if you come from, you know, a

Darcel Lobo:

background or a childhood where, you know, you didn't say no,

Darcel Lobo:

when you did say yes, and you were a people pleaser, and you

Darcel Lobo:

didn't want to disappoint. So to now, be told that you should say

Darcel Lobo:

no, it's like, you feel bad for it, you know, like, it's a

Darcel Lobo:

negative thing, but it doesn't, it doesn't have to be

Melinda Lee:

right. And it's not because otherwise I mean, we It

Melinda Lee:

doesn't do us, me them any good. If I keep on saying yes to

Melinda Lee:

everybody. Yeah.

Darcel Lobo:

Right. Or even worse, you say yes, then you

Darcel Lobo:

can't deliver it. Yeah, right. You can't deliver you you're

Darcel Lobo:

late with meeting your deadlines. You end up missing

Darcel Lobo:

your son's you know, basketball game, or whatever it is because

Darcel Lobo:

you've overextended yourself, like that's so much worse to

Darcel Lobo:

tell the person Yes, the problem is something and then you can't

Darcel Lobo:

deliver, like that fits worst to me. I'd rather be honest, and

Darcel Lobo:

saying that, you know, I can't do so you know, right now, but

Darcel Lobo:

how's this date? How's this time? You know, or, or whatever

Darcel Lobo:

the conversation needs to be, and to be honest with yourself

Darcel Lobo:

and look the person.

Melinda Lee:

Right, right. And it can't just be a no not right

Melinda Lee:

now. Right? Like, yeah, maybe later on another date. Right.

Melinda Lee:

Right. Like you said, people have people I think people

Melinda Lee:

respect it more when you could give Um, in another date or?

Melinda Lee:

Yeah.

Darcel Lobo:

Also like you, when you're able to keep your word,

Darcel Lobo:

right, if you're disappointing someone, if you're not keeping

Darcel Lobo:

your own commitments or not in the timeframe that you've agreed

Darcel Lobo:

to, you know, you're disappointing lemon you, right?

Darcel Lobo:

I mean, you're not developing a very good reputation for

Darcel Lobo:

yourself either. Right. And so I think being able to be honest

Darcel Lobo:

with yourself and with them, and then to be able to deliver, you

Darcel Lobo:

know, on time, as you said, you would, I think it just goes a

Darcel Lobo:

lot further. Yeah.

Melinda Lee:

Do you have a story that you could share with

Melinda Lee:

someone that you supported? And what was the result?

Darcel Lobo:

Um, goodness, you know, when my clients come to

Darcel Lobo:

me, it's, you know, it is predominantly is lawyers that I

Darcel Lobo:

work with who, you know, do have their own law firms. Um, you

Darcel Lobo:

know, and for, you know, one client in particular that I've

Darcel Lobo:

worked with recently, it was about her her fees, and not

Darcel Lobo:

feeling, you know, worthy of charging what she was worth,

Darcel Lobo:

always discounting her fees, writing down her fees under

Darcel Lobo:

Billing. And, you know, when we first started, it was, okay, we

Darcel Lobo:

need to get to the root as to why, why do you feel bad about

Darcel Lobo:

earning, you know, what your worth and look at the value you

Darcel Lobo:

deliver, and the legal service that she provided, it was such a

Darcel Lobo:

value to her clients, and her clients weren't complaining

Darcel Lobo:

about her her bills and her her her fees, it was, she had this

Darcel Lobo:

internal guilt that we had to kind of work through and on,

Darcel Lobo:

unpack, you know, and really focus on the value that she's

Darcel Lobo:

delivering to her clients. And that was really a roadblock for

Darcel Lobo:

her and she was kind of plateaued, and her firm at her

Darcel Lobo:

income level, because she just couldn't get out of her own way.

Darcel Lobo:

It was nobody else telling her that her fees are too high, or

Darcel Lobo:

that she needed to reduce her fees, it was herself in her own

Darcel Lobo:

way. And so I think probably my clients, you know, it's just the

Darcel Lobo:

economy with its, they're in their own way. It's not any one

Darcel Lobo:

else a lot of times and you know, for myself, all right, is,

Darcel Lobo:

you know, that infinite voice in your head, the fear or the

Darcel Lobo:

imposter syndrome, whatever, you know, emotion that is attached

Darcel Lobo:

to it, it's like, how can we unpack that to help you get to

Darcel Lobo:

where you want to go on that next step. And so that's kind of

Darcel Lobo:

an example that I would help a client, you know, work with in

Darcel Lobo:

their law firm, or, you know, kind of time management,

Darcel Lobo:

productivity, improving systems and processes in your firm,

Darcel Lobo:

helping them increase their bottom line to be more

Darcel Lobo:

profitable in their law firms are kind of things that I see a

Darcel Lobo:

lot. And a lot of times those conversations, we start with the

Darcel Lobo:

professional issue, but there's usually some personal issues

Darcel Lobo:

that it all kind of comes together, right? I mean, they're

Darcel Lobo:

not, they're not isolated. Right. And so usually, it all

Darcel Lobo:

kind of ties together. So we start with this professional

Darcel Lobo:

issue. And then we kind of our unpacking some personal issues,

Darcel Lobo:

our internal, you know, baggage that they're having to help them

Darcel Lobo:

have a, you know, a happier life and a happier law firm, which is

Darcel Lobo:

really my goal for my clients. Right?

Melinda Lee:

Because you're, you're about their outcome. And

Melinda Lee:

if you're in the results, and yeah, totally, to change the

Melinda Lee:

result, we have to go in where we have to go to Yeah,

Darcel Lobo:

we have to do some cleanup work usually. Yeah. Yes.

Melinda Lee:

But that's where the real result happens is

Melinda Lee:

sustainable ones.

Darcel Lobo:

Yeah. So I think, you know, when when we do that

Darcel Lobo:

work, you know, the client is, you know, coming, you know, is

Darcel Lobo:

coming from internal. Right, so I'm helping them find it from

Darcel Lobo:

inside and to bring it out of them. Right, you know, and so, I

Darcel Lobo:

mean, there's some things reconcile my client okay, you

Darcel Lobo:

know, you should do this, this and this, you know, as far as

Darcel Lobo:

their law firms, but I think the real magic happens in a real

Darcel Lobo:

long term change happens when I help them finding answers from

Darcel Lobo:

within most of my clients know what they need to do, I just

Darcel Lobo:

have to help them bring it out and then help them be

Darcel Lobo:

accountable to themselves to make sure the change actually

Darcel Lobo:

happens.

Melinda Lee:

Right? Right. And it is mean accountability is so

Melinda Lee:

key especially because otherwise they would have done it a while

Melinda Lee:

ago but it's doing this internal work to create a different

Melinda Lee:

outcome. We need accountability someone to just be there for us

Melinda Lee:

especially when we want to retreat back to where we want it

Melinda Lee:

to. Yeah, go back to our old pattern.

Darcel Lobo:

Yeah, and especially when my client is

Darcel Lobo:

like they're so busy putting out the fires every day yeah, that

Darcel Lobo:

doing this you know clean up internal work which will be

Darcel Lobo:

better for them in the long run but and then mediate day to day

Darcel Lobo:

is not the priority so I help them to make it a priority in

Darcel Lobo:

their lives so we can have the long term change changes for the

Darcel Lobo:

better that they're looking for.

Melinda Lee:

Yeah. I'm gonna do the same thing right now. If

Melinda Lee:

you're on my YouTube channel, you can see that I'm a little

Melinda Lee:

stuffy and but because I love you all so much, I'm I work

Melinda Lee:

through this I wanted to be with Darcel today, to be yawn. This I

Melinda Lee:

think this is an amazing lots of insight on this episode where

Melinda Lee:

especially for us busy folks who are trying to manage both our

Melinda Lee:

professional life and our personal lives, so many gold

Melinda Lee:

nuggets, thank you so much Darcelle for sharing these

Melinda Lee:

pieces, your experiences and what you can do for your

Melinda Lee:

clients. How can people find you, whether it's were your

Melinda Lee:

attorney services or coaching? Yeah,

Darcel Lobo:

so my coaching website is dowel coaching.com

Darcel Lobo:

DHL coaching.com, or on LinkedIn. I'm at Darcelle Lobo.

Darcel Lobo:

And I think I'm the only Darcelle Lobo on LinkedIn. So I

Darcel Lobo:

should be pretty easy.

Melinda Lee:

Oh, wow.

Darcel Lobo:

And so yeah, so yeah, LinkedIn, you know,

Darcel Lobo:

Darcelle Lobo, or doubt coaching.com. I have some free

Darcel Lobo:

resources on my website about managing your time and how to

Darcel Lobo:

run your business more efficiently. And then also have

Darcel Lobo:

a free daily planner on the website as well. So a few

Darcel Lobo:

freebies on the website. So I would love to you know, grab a

Darcel Lobo:

freebie and if I can be of help to you, feel free to reach out.

Melinda Lee:

Great to reach out grab those for you these get the

Melinda Lee:

resources and thank you so much. Darcelle appreciate your time

Melinda Lee:

and your experience and sharing what your your wisdom with us.

Melinda Lee:

Oh, well, thank

Darcel Lobo:

you so much. Thanks for having me on.

Melinda Lee:

Thank you, and I'm gonna do some self care. Bye bye