Tune in and Ignite Your Courageous Spirit With Sushama Kirtikar - Speak in Flow

🌟 Introduction to Courage: Unleashing the Power Within

In this exhilarating episode, host Melinda Lees dives deep into the essence of courage with the extraordinary Sushama Kirtikar. Together, they explore the key components of courage and how to unlock its transformative potential in our lives.

🔑 Components of Courage Unveiled

Sushama, with her wealth of experience, delves into the crucial components that make up courage. From facing fears head-on to embracing vulnerability, listeners will gain profound insights into the multifaceted nature of courage.

🗣️ Speak Up, Even in the Face of Fear

One of the highlights of this conversation is the exploration of unleashing courage from within. Sushama shares invaluable advice on how to find your inner reservoir of courage and use it to speak up—even when fear is present. It’s a journey into self-discovery and empowerment.

🌈 Overcoming Blindspots with Courage

Blindspots are inevitable in our personal and professional lives. Sushama guides us through the process of identifying and overcoming these blindspots with the power of courage. Learn how courage acts as a catalyst for self-awareness and growth, illuminating the hidden corners of our lives.

💪 Practical Strategies for Courageous Living

As the episode unfolds, Sushama generously shares practical strategies for living courageously. Whether you’re navigating challenges in your career, relationships, or personal growth, these strategies are designed to empower you to step into your courage and thrive.

🚀 Transformative Power of Courage in Coaching

Given Sushama’s extensive background in coaching, the conversation naturally gravitates towards the transformative power of courage in the coaching process. Discover how courage becomes a guiding force for individuals seeking to flourish in their personal and professional lives.

🌐 Global Impact: Courage in Leadership

Exploring Sushama’s roles in various global organizations, Melinda and Sushama discuss how courage plays a pivotal role in leadership. From Better Up to How Women Lead, learn how courage contributes to creating positive change on a global scale.

🎧 A Must-Listen for Those Seeking Growth

If you’re on a journey of self-discovery, empowerment, and growth, this episode is a treasure trove of wisdom. Join Melinda Lees and Sushama Kirtikar as they unravel the mysteries of courage and empower you to step boldly into the life you desire.

🌟 Tune in and Ignite Your Courageous Spirit!

Sushama Kirtikar

Bio: Sushama is a Professional and Personal Coach. She coaches individuals seeking to flourish in their personal and professional lives optimizing satisfaction in life areas of their choice. She offers individual and group coaching, and presents workshops and webinars to teams and organizations drawing robustly from the empirical science of Positive Psychology.

Her vision is to spread the gift of Positive Psychology far and wide. Her mission is to take the science out of books and journals and put them in her clients’ pockets as practical applications for easy access and ready use.

Sushama Kirtikar received her M.A. in Counseling from Oakland University, MI, and B.S. in Psychology from Western Michigan University, MI. She had been in private practice as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Tampa, FL, for 32 years (1987 – 2020). In 2017 she received certification from Mentor Coach, a lead coach training institute, in Bethesda, Maryland. She is now an Associate Certified Coach (ICF-International Coach Federation credentialed).

In addition, she is currently a Distinguished Fellow Coach at Better Up a Professional Coach Community “bringing together world-class coaching, AI technology, and behavioral science experts to deliver change at scale”. She is on the Advisory Council for Command Purpose Foundation a values-based community that supports veteran women through their transition from military to civilian life. She is a volunteer Coach for How Women Lead a virtual leadership program training, coaching, advising for women leaders and change makers.

In 2006 she co-founded a not for profit psychosocial organization called PEHCHAAN (Providing Educational, Humanistic & Cultural Hope for the South Asian American Network) of Tampa Bay. It means ‘Identity’ in Hindi. She served on the Board for 10 years. She wrote a monthly mental health column Our Patchwork Quilt for five years for ‘Khaas Baat’ a regional newspaper, on issues faced by immigrants.

She was President of the Tampa Bay Association for Women Psychotherapists, Chairperson of the Tampa Bay Study Group for Dissociative Disorders, and was a member of the American Counseling Association and Suncoast Mental Health Counseling Association. She is a member of ICF-CF (International Coach Federation, Central Florida). She was recipient of the Indo-US Chamber of Commerce Community Service Award, 2010, and the Power Stories Opening Hearts and Minds Award, 2011.

Website: www.myturningforce.com

Linked in: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sushama-kirtikar-91a60556/

About Melinda:

Melinda Lee is a Presentation Skills Expert, Speaking Coach and nationally renowned Motivational Speaker. She holds an M.A. in Organizational Psychology, is an Insights Practitioner, and is a Certified Professional in Talent Development as well as Certified in Conflict Resolution. For over a decade, Melinda has researched and studied the state of “flow” and used it as a proven technique to help corporate leaders and business owners amplify their voices, access flow, and present their mission in a more powerful way to achieve results.

She has been the TEDx Berkeley Speaker Coach and worked with hundreds of executives and teams from Facebook, Google, Microsoft, Caltrans, Bay Area Rapid Transit System, and more. Currently, she lives in San Francisco, California, and is breaking the ancestral lineage of silence.

Website: https://speakinflow.com/

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/speakinflow

Instagram: https://instagram.com/speakinflow

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mpowerall

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Transcript
Melinda Lee:

Welcome to the speak in flow podcast. I am so

Melinda Lee:

pleased about our topic today around how to communicate

Melinda Lee:

courage on the show is Shama cure Dakar. She brings a wealth

Melinda Lee:

of knowledge she had had a private practice for 32 years

Melinda Lee:

specialising as a mental health counsellor. She currently is a

Melinda Lee:

premier fellow coach at Better U, where she draws on

Melinda Lee:

neuroscience and positive psychology as a professional and

Melinda Lee:

personal coach. Today's episode, she breaks down courage, and the

Melinda Lee:

four components of courage and the challenges around that how

Melinda Lee:

to communicate courage, and what we can do about it so we can

Melinda Lee:

communicate courage effectively, even when there's chaos and

Melinda Lee:

complexity and fear. I can't wait for you to dive into this

Melinda Lee:

episode. It is amazing. And joy. Hello, Sushama. I'm glad you're

Melinda Lee:

here.

Sushama Kirtikar:

Thank you. Thank you, Melinda. I'm really

Sushama Kirtikar:

very happy to be here with you.

Melinda Lee:

Yes, we're going to dive right in. Because I know

Melinda Lee:

that we have a lot to cover all around courage, and how do we

Melinda Lee:

communicate courage, especially in our chaotic time in this

Melinda Lee:

complex world? Let's talk about courage. So I want to know from

Melinda Lee:

your perspective, and from your experience, having been over 32

Melinda Lee:

years, a licenced mental health counsellor? What does courage

Melinda Lee:

mean to you?

Sushama Kirtikar:

Well, you know, when you asked me to think

Sushama Kirtikar:

about a value or a core strength, I give that some

Sushama Kirtikar:

thought. And what I recognised is that there are several

Sushama Kirtikar:

different values that come to my mind. And I use different

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strengths at different times, depending on the need of the

Sushama Kirtikar:

hour. What bubbled up for me most organically, was the word

Sushama Kirtikar:

courage. And there was no forethought to it was not as

Sushama Kirtikar:

though I was, you know, mindfully making a decision, my

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gut offered it to me as the value to talk about today. So

Sushama Kirtikar:

when I think of courage, what I realised is that I unconsciously

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draw upon it. In the course of the day, it could be simple

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interactions, making choices, it could be in my general workday.

Sushama Kirtikar:

Now, courage is described as a virtue that enables us and helps

Sushama Kirtikar:

us exercise our will. And face adversity. This is as defined by

Sushama Kirtikar:

the VR Institute on character. And VR stands for Values in

Sushama Kirtikar:

Action. Now, there are four character strengths that have

Sushama Kirtikar:

been kind of clustered and grouped underneath this virtue.

Sushama Kirtikar:

And they are bravery, honesty, perseverance, and zest. And I

Sushama Kirtikar:

would never have thought that these four would come under

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courage. But it makes sense when I recognise how naturally these

Sushama Kirtikar:

are the ones that are elevate at times, throughout, whether it's

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throughout the day, or you know, depending on a project I'm

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working on, it doesn't matter what. Now, the first one, let's

Sushama Kirtikar:

look at bravery. Bravery, for example, involves perceived

Sushama Kirtikar:

personal risk. So it's like I'm out of my comfort zone. And I

Sushama Kirtikar:

need to take that step, right. However uncomfortable it might

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be, it could be a fear of fear of getting hurt, whether it

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means fear of rejection, whatever it might be, and

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uncertainty of of the outcome. So the end result may be not

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what I hoped for, but are going to push ahead, regardless. So

Sushama Kirtikar:

these three elements even if they are present, it's about me

Sushama Kirtikar:

moving ahead. That is significant for me, as far as

Sushama Kirtikar:

courage is concerned.

Melinda Lee:

I love how you broke that down. And and I love

Melinda Lee:

the description of when you sense there's fear when there's

Melinda Lee:

doubt when we don't know what the line ahead, that's

Melinda Lee:

immediately sending a visceral response in my body right now.

Melinda Lee:

Okay, this is when I could potentially tap into courage,

Melinda Lee:

right? When I'm sensing these visceral feelings that I could

Melinda Lee:

potentially go into fear, more fear, or I can leverage an

Melinda Lee:

opportunity to go into courage, which includes bravery. And so

Melinda Lee:

how, what about other pieces of honesty and you're sure so

Sushama Kirtikar:

So when we look at that, all of these,

Sushama Kirtikar:

let's say, bravery itself, it takes on different forms, there

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could be moral bravery, where I am standing up for my

Sushama Kirtikar:

principles. Physical, of course, is about facing bodily danger.

Sushama Kirtikar:

Psychological is about confronting the fear of making a

Sushama Kirtikar:

wrong decision if you're a failure, of embarrassment, and

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so on. And, for example, let's say you're not in alignment with

Sushama Kirtikar:

your peers, your colleagues. And you're still speaking up despite

Sushama Kirtikar:

the possibility of being an outlier. That takes courage. So

Sushama Kirtikar:

you are being who you are. And that's that authenticity piece.

Sushama Kirtikar:

So it naturally flows, you are now being authentic, you're

Sushama Kirtikar:

being honest about who you are, and you're speaking your truth.

Sushama Kirtikar:

So that's another piece to look at. Perseverance is about again,

Sushama Kirtikar:

continuing to push ahead, despite hurdle, despite all

Sushama Kirtikar:

odds, despite criticisms. And you are going to continue to

Sushama Kirtikar:

convey your message. And what's important is the zest piece and

Sushama Kirtikar:

see this was what always, I mean, it took me aback when I

Sushama Kirtikar:

realised that they included zest under courage. And this is, you

Sushama Kirtikar:

know, science that they have used positive psychology really

Sushama Kirtikar:

studied across different cultures across times to put

Sushama Kirtikar:

together these virtues, six different virtues and different

Sushama Kirtikar:

clusters of character strengths that fall under each virtue. So

Sushama Kirtikar:

on the verge of under the virtue of courage, zest, is that

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passion, the energy, the enthusiasm that you bring to the

Sushama Kirtikar:

situation? And for you to be able to make an impact to

Sushama Kirtikar:

actually influence another individual. Right? You want that

Sushama Kirtikar:

passion? Yeah, and how difficult that can be? In especially when

Sushama Kirtikar:

we don't know, right? When we don't know what is about to

Sushama Kirtikar:

happen? Yes, we don't know what the outcome is.

Melinda Lee:

Yeah,

Sushama Kirtikar:

despite that uncertainty and make sense, you

Sushama Kirtikar:

go ahead, because you believe in the process, you believe in what

Sushama Kirtikar:

it is that you are presenting, that is very important. That is

Sushama Kirtikar:

so important. That means you have to really take a deep dive

Sushama Kirtikar:

into honesty. And that's why these are so important. The

Sushama Kirtikar:

honesty and the authenticity of this is who I am, and this is

Sushama Kirtikar:

what I stand for. Exactly. Amazing. I love that. And and

Sushama Kirtikar:

what do you think are the key challenges that leaders have

Sushama Kirtikar:

with communicating courage like this? Well, what I noticed is

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that, you know, leaders naturally, I mean, they are

Sushama Kirtikar:

leaders because they have, you know, exhibited, and they have

Sushama Kirtikar:

engaged courage in order to reach that position. Sometimes,

Sushama Kirtikar:

it could be, and this is another interesting piece is the overuse

Sushama Kirtikar:

of strength. Any one of these could be used in excess. So

Sushama Kirtikar:

there is such a thing. It's not like, you know, okay, I'm really

Sushama Kirtikar:

fantastic. And great at this, and I'm really going to power it

Sushama Kirtikar:

up. But sometimes it is to our detriment, bravery, taken to an

Sushama Kirtikar:

extreme could be foolhardiness. So that's when you want to kind

Sushama Kirtikar:

of pause, use the past principle and ask yourself, Okay, wait a

Sushama Kirtikar:

minute, what do I need to do now? So you could look at some

Sushama Kirtikar:

of your basic strengths, which are your middle strengths, or

Sushama Kirtikar:

your lower strengths. And what comes to my mind right now is

Sushama Kirtikar:

judgement, bring up the strength of good judgement, to make a

Sushama Kirtikar:

decision that is sound and rooted in reality. And you're

Sushama Kirtikar:

essentially using critical thinking. So you're using that

Sushama Kirtikar:

critical thinking piece to bring down this, you know, I'm willing

Sushama Kirtikar:

to take a risk, let's just forge ahead. And they're trying to

Sushama Kirtikar:

convince the group that this is the way to go. But maybe they

Sushama Kirtikar:

are overselling. And so it's about that pause principle. Do I

Sushama Kirtikar:

want to listen to other people's inputs? Do I want to hear what

Sushama Kirtikar:

they have to say? So keeping that openness, so you can then

Sushama Kirtikar:

bring in good judgement. So you will that you can pause?

Melinda Lee:

And I need to stop?

Sushama Kirtikar:

Pauses not stop. Right. Sure. And then

Sushama Kirtikar:

moving ahead, right. It's not like you're defeated. You're

Sushama Kirtikar:

actually being very mindful about that. Right? A boss

Sushama Kirtikar:

principle is just beautiful. So next comes honesty. Honesty

Sushama Kirtikar:

taken to an extreme can also be detrimental. Sometimes I've had

Sushama Kirtikar:

clients say to me, you know, my friend tells me that I am honest

Sushama Kirtikar:

to a fault and to blunt, right? Okay? So just because I'm

Sushama Kirtikar:

honest, doesn't make that doesn't mean that others are

Sushama Kirtikar:

open to hearing me out. Yeah, I could be brutal in the way that

Sushama Kirtikar:

I am being honest. And if I'm hurting somebody else's

Sushama Kirtikar:

feelings, then they are busy getting defensive, the walls are

Sushama Kirtikar:

going up. And so what is important, then at that point,

Sushama Kirtikar:

is to look at, well, how can I temper this? Okay, now I can

Sushama Kirtikar:

pull up on social intelligence, become aware of other people's

Sushama Kirtikar:

mood? What motivates them? What are their drives, you know, what

Sushama Kirtikar:

are their emotional responses, paying attention to verbal and

Sushama Kirtikar:

nonverbal clues, cue, sorry. So you're getting out of your own

Sushama Kirtikar:

sphere, to become attuned to the other, right. So you stay

Sushama Kirtikar:

honest. And you don't have to be just simply bulldozing your way

Sushama Kirtikar:

through with that honesty, you could take a pause to check in

Sushama Kirtikar:

and see how it's been received. Yeah, then comes perseverance.

Sushama Kirtikar:

Now, this is my Achilles heel. But I can persevere, you know,

Sushama Kirtikar:

it's like I'm thinking I've, I'm like, like a dog with a bone,

Sushama Kirtikar:

I'm not going to let go. Take it into an extreme might mean that

Sushama Kirtikar:

you're just spinning your wheels doing the same thing over and

Sushama Kirtikar:

over again, without, you know, getting a, you know, you're

Sushama Kirtikar:

expecting a different result, but you're not being successful

Sushama Kirtikar:

at it. And so there is such a thing as continuing to

Sushama Kirtikar:

persevere. fruitless. So that's when I've had to learn this is

Sushama Kirtikar:

to moderate it by pulling up on perspective, which is the

Sushama Kirtikar:

bigger, higher, broader viewpoint to get a bigger

Sushama Kirtikar:

picture, and ask yourself, you know, what, am I getting lost in

Sushama Kirtikar:

here? Why am I so stuck? And so I could be persevering, but then

Sushama Kirtikar:

my wheel is only going in deeper in the mud. If I'm continuing to

Sushama Kirtikar:

accelerate without pausing and looking at what other tools do I

Sushama Kirtikar:

need to get myself out of the ditch that I've stuck myself

Sushama Kirtikar:

there? Right, right. Right, right. So that's an important

Sushama Kirtikar:

piece as well. And then the fourth one of zest, overdoing

Sushama Kirtikar:

zest, can be counterproductive. And you want to soften it with,

Sushama Kirtikar:

let's say, humility. So again, you are now

Sushama Kirtikar:

taking a deep breath in making space for others or unions and

Sushama Kirtikar:

energy.

Sushama Kirtikar:

On the other hand, if your enthusiasm is sort of slowly

Sushama Kirtikar:

fading, and you're noticing that you're kind of dragging in

Sushama Kirtikar:

energy as you're going into, you know, whether it's a

Sushama Kirtikar:

conversation with a group or whoever it might be, you could

Sushama Kirtikar:

pull up on your higher strength of curiosity, which could help

Sushama Kirtikar:

show your zest and enthusiasm, because curiosity is just about

Sushama Kirtikar:

learning about the other viewpoint, the other individual,

Sushama Kirtikar:

the other people's perspectives. And your energies back in. Oh,

Sushama Kirtikar:

yeah, definitely. Yes. I mean, I love just Yeah, drawing on

Sushama Kirtikar:

curiosity, because especially if our if we noticed that we are

Sushama Kirtikar:

disengaged, like tapping into curiosity, and how much more

Sushama Kirtikar:

powerful when we do finally communicate, when we are able to

Sushama Kirtikar:

get curious about the other person, and then communicating

Sushama Kirtikar:

from that space because deeply about where the other person's

Sushama Kirtikar:

at, and then I can frame my what I want to say in a way that is

Sushama Kirtikar:

connected and engaged, and then suddenly, we're back into

Sushama Kirtikar:

engagement and conversation.

Melinda Lee:

Yeah, right. Right. I love that.

Sushama Kirtikar:

Yeah, absolutely.

Melinda Lee:

Yeah, I could see how all of these you would think

Melinda Lee:

honesty, perseverance is, the more we have, the better. But at

Melinda Lee:

the same time, like you mentioned, that can be overused,

Melinda Lee:

right. And it also reminds me of the importance of, of people,

Melinda Lee:

they've trusted people that are around me to be able to temper

Melinda Lee:

down or give me feedback and give me some honest perspective.

Melinda Lee:

When I'm able to take that pause or when I do need to take take

Melinda Lee:

that pause to give me some reflection of what might be

Melinda Lee:

happening when I'm overusing because I could see if I'm just

Melinda Lee:

over I find the strength and I keep on using it. I might am

Melinda Lee:

might not see. And so it just reminds me the importance of

Melinda Lee:

having trusted people around us.

Sushama Kirtikar:

Yes, yes, absolutely. Absolutely. And more

Sushama Kirtikar:

and more this whole piece about the social connections and

Sushama Kirtikar:

creating, creating rapid rapport is becoming integral for

Sushama Kirtikar:

leadership. Right. Leadership is is, you know, leaders are having

Sushama Kirtikar:

to really learn how to connect with people, other people

Sushama Kirtikar:

matter.

Melinda Lee:

Right. Right. And do it authentically,

Melinda Lee:

meaningfully, especially with the rise of AI and robots

Melinda Lee:

everywhere.

Sushama Kirtikar:

Yes, yes. Yes. That's that's a whole different

Sushama Kirtikar:

conversation. Right, right. Oh, my goodness, you exude like you

Sushama Kirtikar:

mentioned, I love that you said that courage just bubbled up

Sushama Kirtikar:

inside, it wasn't something you had to think through just

Sushama Kirtikar:

something that your gut told you.

Melinda Lee:

Because I want you to share if you can share your

Melinda Lee:

your story of how you took courage, personally, and brought

Melinda Lee:

that into your life and how you're able to communicate your

Melinda Lee:

courage and strength with others.

Sushama Kirtikar:

Sure, so what's coming to my mind,

Sushama Kirtikar:

because this has been, you know, like a very powerful experience

Sushama Kirtikar:

that I had was in 2019, I was diagnosed with cancer, a high

Sushama Kirtikar:

grade sir, coma, the soft tissue in the ankle.

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And since it was an aggressive cancer, it had to be treated

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immediately. And the urgency was being conveyed to me by the very

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first psychologist whom I consulted. He gave me options,

Sushama Kirtikar:

you know, nothing, you don't do anything, which is not a good

Sushama Kirtikar:

option, or you go through your chemo therapy, radiation

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surgeries, the usual sort of route, that cancer treatment in,

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you know, sort of entails. And then you give me another option

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of amputation below the knee. And his recommendation was, that

Sushama Kirtikar:

is your best option is amputation below the knee, I

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have not yet. I got chills sort of wrap my head around the

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diagnosis of cancer and hear us talking, you know, a drastic

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sort of treatment. Now, his premise was that it is to

Sushama Kirtikar:

prevent it from metastasizing and spreading elsewhere. And he

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comes from 30 plus years of experience. So he carried a lot

Sushama Kirtikar:

of clout and credibility, I respect but at the same time,

Sushama Kirtikar:

what came up for me was this, this was when courage came up.

Sushama Kirtikar:

For me, it just sort of rose up most unconsciously, it was not

Sushama Kirtikar:

something premeditated or mindfully acted on. Bravery

Sushama Kirtikar:

literally literally came to my rescue because I stood firm in

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my conviction, there again, standing to your, you know, up

Sushama Kirtikar:

to your principles, my conviction that a patient has to

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be an informed patient. And so I asked for some credible

Sushama Kirtikar:

resources that I could tap into, to read up on all my different

Sushama Kirtikar:

treatment options. He's Summerlee, just waved aside my

Sushama Kirtikar:

request like that with his hands, saying he would give them

Sushama Kirtikar:

to me after I'd made my decision. And that's when I took

Sushama Kirtikar:

a former stand and pushed for time to research even though the

Sushama Kirtikar:

fear of displeasing my provider was very eminent. I mean, I

Sushama Kirtikar:

could feel it Oh, no, he's going to be upset,

Melinda Lee:

or and it's spreading.

Sushama Kirtikar:

And it's spreading. Yeah, he continued to

Sushama Kirtikar:

dismiss my needs as being untimely. That is when I made

Sushama Kirtikar:

the clear announcement that I would be going for a second

Sushama Kirtikar:

opinion. unser uncertainty was their uncertainty of outcome. I

Sushama Kirtikar:

had no idea what this meant. I had I didn't understand the

Sushama Kirtikar:

language of cancer. All I knew is that I needed time for this

Sushama Kirtikar:

to percolate for me to integrate this reality and then to make a

Sushama Kirtikar:

judgement call based on what I thought was the right thing for

Sushama Kirtikar:

me to do it was my body so living by my values was

Sushama Kirtikar:

paramount at that moment. I want to and I want to pursue yes

Melinda Lee:

courage the courage when what you talked about

Melinda Lee:

earlier, so you sense bravery, courage, bravery, okay. You're

Melinda Lee:

getting the sense So there's uncertainty, there's fear. And

Melinda Lee:

so then you're now this courage is bubbling up and then you went

Melinda Lee:

into the honesty of who you are. I'm standing to mine. Exactly.

Melinda Lee:

Then I personally heard I know the person

Sushama Kirtikar:

Even when he continued to say no, oh, I give

Sushama Kirtikar:

you 24 hours. I said, No, that's not enough. He said, Okay, give

Sushama Kirtikar:

you 72 hours. I said, No, that is not enough. And so that was

Sushama Kirtikar:

all happening. In the in that moment, there was no time to

Sushama Kirtikar:

think and reflect and make decisions. I was just going on

Sushama Kirtikar:

my gut. Yeah. And, if you will, there was passion, there was

Sushama Kirtikar:

energy behind all of that, because I was not being soft

Sushama Kirtikar:

spoken, I was just very assertive. So that is something

Sushama Kirtikar:

that I feel. I mean, this is when I look back, I recognise

Sushama Kirtikar:

how it all came to my rescue. But it's because I think I must

Sushama Kirtikar:

have been practising this over time. And so powerful, it's,

Sushama Kirtikar:

it's just invaluable.

Melinda Lee:

And then what happened.

Sushama Kirtikar:

I ended up getting a second opinion, if you

Sushama Kirtikar:

want my story, I ended up getting a second opinion. And

Sushama Kirtikar:

the other the second oncologist, I had a third opinion also lined

Sushama Kirtikar:

up, which I didn't end up taking, but the second opinion

Sushama Kirtikar:

turned out to be a limb saving measures. And so I went through

Sushama Kirtikar:

radiation, very, you know, extensive, strong radiation

Sushama Kirtikar:

therapy for the ankle, and followed up by multiple

Sushama Kirtikar:

reconstructive surgeries, where they took a flap from my upper

Sushama Kirtikar:

arm, I'm sorry, my arm and put it on the ankle that you know

Sushama Kirtikar:

where the excision was, was done. And then they took another

Sushama Kirtikar:

flap from graft from the thigh to put it on the arm. So it was

Sushama Kirtikar:

all you know, patch work. That was done it just incredible,

Sushama Kirtikar:

incredible work. Gratitude goes out to everybody. Good. Oh, my

Sushama Kirtikar:

goodness, what a story. Yeah, yeah. And it really took a

Sushama Kirtikar:

village. I mean, everybody, you know, all my support system,

Sushama Kirtikar:

everybody. Yeah.

Melinda Lee:

Thank goodness. I know you're working on a book,

Melinda Lee:

you know, to show the details, but just wanted to let the

Melinda Lee:

audience know, eventually a books going to come out on this

Melinda Lee:

documenting your journey and your courage during this ride.

Sushama Kirtikar:

My hope is to create a hybrid memoir, where

Sushama Kirtikar:

I'm sharing the personal story along with applications from

Sushama Kirtikar:

positive psychology. I think that that is very, that would be

Sushama Kirtikar:

helpful. It's kind of like a legacy I'd like to leave behind

Sushama Kirtikar:

for my family, but it touches somebody else, then it's worth

Sushama Kirtikar:

it. Oh, my goodness, I can Yes, I believe it will. And those are

Sushama Kirtikar:

going to touch many lives. Thank you. Thank you so much for

Sushama Kirtikar:

sharing that personal journey and that story of courage.

Melinda Lee:

And I love how we could just break down I can see

Melinda Lee:

all the components of courage come through very clearly.And so

Melinda Lee:

what is your golden community? I this is what I asked all the

Melinda Lee:

guests on us. What is your golden communication tip that

Melinda Lee:

you can share.

Sushama Kirtikar:

So So yes, my tip is speak with courage. And

Sushama Kirtikar:

number one, have the bravery to show up, just show up despite

Sushama Kirtikar:

self doubts, fears, misgivings. And this is where I like to

Sushama Kirtikar:

quote Nelson Mandela, who said, I learned that courage was not

Sushama Kirtikar:

the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man

Sushama Kirtikar:

is not he who does not feel afraid. But he who conquers that

Sushama Kirtikar:

fear. And so that's important number to show up authentically,

Sushama Kirtikar:

which is being who you are, you can't come prepared. But you do

Sushama Kirtikar:

not have to put on an act, or try to be like someone else.

Sushama Kirtikar:

your authentic self is the most unique quality that you possess,

Sushama Kirtikar:

and it's your gift to mankind to humankind. No one else can be

Sushama Kirtikar:

like you. So revel in it and bring your true self to the

Sushama Kirtikar:

situation. Number three, persevere despite all odds and

Sushama Kirtikar:

hurdles, even when the other person is unable to get your

Sushama Kirtikar:

viewpoint or you're not achieving your desired result.

Sushama Kirtikar:

Persistent don't give up as Angela Duckworth would say. Grit

Sushama Kirtikar:

is passion and perseverance for very long term goals. So keep at

Sushama Kirtikar:

it when you hit road Blocks, you will prevail. And the fourth

Sushama Kirtikar:

piece being bring enthusiasm and zest with you. That is the way

Sushama Kirtikar:

you're bound to make an impact on others. Your energy can be

Sushama Kirtikar:

both magnetic and electrifying. And when you speak, the other

Sushama Kirtikar:

person hears and listens. And that creates what you were

Sushama Kirtikar:

talking about physiological synchrony because it's believed

Sushama Kirtikar:

that heartbeats and brain signals move in harmony. There

Sushama Kirtikar:

are dual e G's that prove that it's magical. So speak with

Sushama Kirtikar:

courage, and you will move mountains.

Melinda Lee:

I love that. Wow. I like the science behind that to

Melinda Lee:

the dual EEGS when we speak as

Sushama Kirtikar:

I just read about that. scientist, Dr. Sarah

Sushama Kirtikar:

McCabe who talks about, you know, it's just just so full of

Sushama Kirtikar:

neuroscience and positive psychology, I just get drawn to that.

Melinda Lee:

I love and even when you're speaking, I can feel

Melinda Lee:

the love, I can feel the passion and so I'm getting harmonised

Melinda Lee:

with your spirit thank you so much. That was wonderful. I

Melinda Lee:

think that that was I learned so much on how to communicate with

Melinda Lee:

courage, even in this in in when there's fear. Just not because

Melinda Lee:

there's no fear is when there's fear that we are able to tap

Melinda Lee:

into our courage and strength. And so I really, I think that we

Melinda Lee:

have a lot of valuable insight here. And so thank you so much

Melinda Lee:

for sharing that experience, your knowledge and expertise.

Sushama Kirtikar:

Thank you very much for having me.

Melinda Lee:

It was a joy. It was great. Thank you until next

Melinda Lee:

time, I'll see you all the next show. Take care.

Unknown:

Okay,